World To Burst; John D. Blamed

Detroit Free Press, November 17, 1910

Detroit mystic Jacob Forlow held the belief--he considered it a seismic theory--that the Earth's mantle being so compromised from the boring of oil, would collapse in upon itself.

Chiefly to blame for this cataclysmic event was none other than oil tycoon John D. Rockerfeller.

The veracity of his claims held widespread sway over the general public despite their reticence to openly tout or bemoan the postulation.

The only caveat to this universal claim to truth was that it would take centuries for the "bursting" to occur. Further complicating the equation is the prospect for a Green New Deal. But surely Forlow considered that feeble attempt into the mathematics. Cross cancel and divide, I say, because oblivion awaits us either way.

Forlow's foray into predictions had only ripened to doom and gloom when he mastered the taming of the weather. Meteorological ascents being the barometer which differentiates the mere mystic from the sage.

Detroit Free Press, June 29, 1911